


The past is not gone

by the_CrYpTiD_one



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :D, Alternate Universe - Dream Team SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Character Turned Into a Ghost, Clay | Dream Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Comfort/Angst, Dead Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Smp, Gen, Ghost Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Have a nice day, How Do I Tag, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Character Death, In a way, Memories, Memory Loss, Sad, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadness, Sorry Not Sorry, Sort Of, The Author Regrets Nothing, We all need hugs, Who am I?, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, did I forget something?, everyone suffers...I mean, hehehehe, idk what does beta means, idk...sometimes i will regret it, jesus....what have i done, the characters will appear in other chapters, the snow Biom as a parental figure, we need a comfort room, whatever, white - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_CrYpTiD_one/pseuds/the_CrYpTiD_one
Summary: Once someone said, that if we loose all of our memory our colours would start to fade.We hope that this sort of end is not true, but how should we know?We already saw so much unbelieveable things out there, how can it be impossible  now?- This is exactly the thing happened to Dream. But what was the cause?
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Clay | Dream & Clay | Dream's Sister Drista (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & the snow biom, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 6
Kudos: 165





	1. A white world (Epilog)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi , you can call me the CrYptiDone,  
> with this introduction you would think that I'm probably new, which is exactly what i wanted to say.
> 
> Feel free to correct my mistakes, English is not my first language. :D  
> Have fun and have a nice day.

A life without the memory is not a life as an intelligence without its articulateness.  
Our memory is our solidarity, our meaning, our actions, our feelings.  
We are nothing without the memory.

-Luis Bunuel

A world covered in a white cold blanket letting everyone's tracks visible for a time.  
But they won't be always there.  
Snow storms let them disappear while burying the footsteps in the snow again.

And in one of those snow storms, there is a man walking with heavy steps through the upcoming snowfall.  
He wore a green loose hoody, the colour is more pale than normal.  
White snowflakes rested on his blond hair, his mask, his shoulders and hands.  
He was freezing, his wet clothes, it had rained before, sticked to his body.

But he did not shudder as his body slowly turned cold.

Everything the snow touches turned white. His fingers started to pale, the colours of his clothes were almost gone like they were washed away.  
Now the one coloured figure was almost blend with the snow.

He looks so lifeless.

Every step he made, means that he was further and further away from a place he cannot recall.  
He can't remember, why he was here in the snow biome.  
Why he was outside alone.  
Why he was walking endlessly through the cold.

Where was his destination?

As night falls he still continued his journey, not caring that it's dangerous out there.  
But why was it dangerous out there? 

Even that was a mystery for the man in the snowy world. 

The world around him welcomed the figure and treated him as their own child, as a child who went missing years ago. And they dared never to let him go again. Whatever happened in the past didn't mattered the snow biom, all they want is to embrace the lifeless person into a big hug. Their coldness cannot be compared to the icy mountains somewhere near an ocean. Their coldness would melt away by taking this child away from the sorrow and pain that steadily consumes the energy of their new child.

While he was walking lonely, monsters started to appear. The sun began to hide themself behind the horizon while taking the last warmness away. The mobs could sense him, however, he was so pale and white, that they didn't saw him at all.  
He was one with the biome, a blank person, his mind like an empty sheet of white paper untouched.  
A wave of sadness hit the mobs, when he passed them by.

What was this feeling?

No one knows and so no one will explain them.

The mobs were still trying to find him, to ask him if he knows something, but all of them know somewhere deep in their minds that this was not possible now.  
Because once the person is in a way connected to this biom, they wouldn't find him that easily. Because they (the biom) would do anything to keep their child away from the danger. How should someone who does not even know their destination or why they're here, explain what this feeling is which hit them all when he passed them.

How can they help him? They were supposed to be monsters or was this all a wrong?

What did they missed?

What caused them to think of that?

The blank masked man slowly stopped after walking for days. He found himself confused about the strange animals around him. What creatures are they?  
Why does it hurt so much to think back?

"Why can't I remember?" 

He hesitated and slowly backs away from....nothing. There was no one around him, so whose voice did he heard? He didn't know what to do. Did someone followed him?  
This can't be the answer, but why was he so nervous, and what does it mean with answer. He never asked for something, did he?  
What is an answer? What sort of question should be answered? When there is none why was he freaking out.

What was this feeling anyway? It's so confusing. 

It's not important anyway or is it?

After a long progress of thoughts, he widened his eyes realizing that it was his voice all along. He still could speak??  
No...No.. that's not true..how could he forget his own voice?

No one would forget their own voice. No one deserved to forget so much. No one would forget it. no one 

no one ...no one...no..one ...no...but he did forget, didn't he?

A small breeze gently nudged him trying to comfort him. The only one who would give him this sort of lovely treatment is the biom itself, the one who adopted him as their child.  
Her poor child. She was worried over his state, but she guessed that their child would act like this. Those humans has too much emotions and memories. They smiled fondly watching her child losing all those bad factors which could cause pain and suffering. If he has nothing like that, he would be finally freed from them.  
No more worries, no more destructive feelings or thoughts. He will be freed from them and no one will take their child away.

He would be finally in their grasp. They dared that this time everything would be better for her child. 

But before that, they let the mask fall down into the snow. Like everyone they want to see his face, his expressions to recognize their child, their only one.  
The mask fell down, the only thing that would hide him from the outside world.  
That damned mask which was always smiling, while hiding his emotions wether he was happy or angry or in sorrow. But now it was just a blank white mask.  
There is no smile on it. The snow somehow washed it away. 

There is no smile anymore...if there was nothing at all...if he was all alone here in this white landscape, why did he wore the mask?  
He didn't need it. Why was he wearing it?

He didn't understand himself. 

Without any care he stepped over the mask and continued his journey through the snow.  
His dull white eyes were now staring to the white moon in the silent night. His once light green eyes were gone, replaced by a milky colour. He was not blind, but his colours faded away long time ago. But he was not sure himself if he really had green eyes before everything. He forget it . 

He also cannot remember how he looked like, how his face was. If you can't remember then it's not important.  
What did he need to know now, when he cannot give anything to remember.

As the sun roze again, as the morning began, bringing their light back, the child of the biom sat down tired. He didn't has the energy to walk out of this white world.  
It was fine that he would be stuck here forever. No one cared after all.  
He would give himself a break, a final one.  
The sun roze up, colouring the sky with warm colours he never seen before.  
With a last smile he slowly closed his eyes and he let the sleep take him over.

With shortness of breath they sang him a lullaby, he deserved it.


	2. Where did you go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A childhood memory- The last day spending with Drista

One of the perfect presents he get from his younger sister was a mask made of clay, ironic isn't it. She made him the mask when they were hunted down by a group of pillager, they assumed by his mystical green eyes that he was a hybrid, a rare one, which was not true. Drista was a hybrid not he, but it was better when he got the full attention. He cannot let them take his sister away, what sort of brother is he to lose her and find her in the grasp of the pillager.  
She was a goat hybrid, fluffy blond hair where two little horns are sticking out of her head. Her palm green eyes were staring confidently into the sun, he told her not to do that, but she never listens. And the sun lightens her eyes as true emeralds shining. She was his precious sister and she was his only motivator to go on and welcome every day.

She made him a mask to hide his face from the world out there and while she silently draw a smile on it, Dream secretly searched for more clay to make her a present in return. But he didn't know she would have the same in mind. Both of them were inspired by a great motivation full of love and radiant passion to make their sibling a little more happier in their live. A bond was formed between them, both promised their partner to care and protect each other and be the light in the darkest hours. They travel hand in hand through the thicket and swamps, over the mountains, creating a trip without the fear of getting killed.

The sun shone very brightly while white clouds were drifting on the blue sky. Little insects crawled out of their hideout to feel the warm of the sun, and they started their suicidal mission into the air. Hungry birds watching them silently in the shadows of the trees, waiting for the perfect moment to snatch a few of the insects.  
The grass wheeped with the wind, little locusts chirped cheerful somewhere in the pasture land.

Two figures were calmly walking towards a little village near a river with clear crystal water coming from a little waterfall of a moos stoned hill. The bigger one was dressed in a forest green cape with a white pattern of the enchantment language of the bottom of it. A smiley mask made out of very clean clay covered the face of the person. You could see dirty blond hair hiding somewhere beneath the mask and the hoody with the cape.  
The smaller and younger one wore also a cape but the green colour was more lighter, it was similar to pale lime. As her partner she wore a white mask with a very happy face. ( :D)  
She carried a long brown bow with white ligaments trailing in the wind. The bow was made with a lot of care, she would achieve anything to get it enchanted. It would be a dream to own a bow where you can shoot all the time without waste so much of the arrows. Surely, she would be thrilled having it for she can hunt more animals down or she can longer fight wide ranged, helping her brother in fights.  
Even though she had her own weapon she always wanted to hold the axe of her brother, a deadly but still beautiful weapon made of netherrite.  
Why couldn't they make a bow out of netherrite, it would be cool wouldn't it?

Netherrite was a rare material such as finding an Elytra or having a shulker box. Owning those things would make their travel a lot of easier. With Netherrite you could make weapons and armour to have more protection against any damage from other dangerous monsters or people. Is it enchanted you're basically overpowered, not really but quite. A normal axe would already make a lot of damage if you properly strike down at your enemies, but seeing it in the grey-purpled colour is such a wonderful sight.  
She admired her brothers fighting skills with a single axe and with it she trains hard to be an equal to him. He already told her that she didn't need to do it, she is already one of the greatest fighter he know.  
" But I want to be an Alpha male and to complete that I must defeat you, therefore, I'll never stop."

Drista huffed while following her brother through the grass land. An hour later they arrived at the village but to their surprise the village was abandoned, vines of ivy were stretched over the stone houses, some of them were already collapsed leaving a ruin covered with moos and other plants. In some of the corners of the ruins they found little mushrooms, some were poisonous, others were eatable and there were some blue one, which would glow in the dark.  
Actually, you would find this sort of fungi in the hot area where piglins lived, called the nether. Sometimes when you have the luck you would find them in the overworld.  
The well of the village was full of rain water which fell down from the sky decades ago. Ranks of other plants and the big roots of the trees there ripped the walls apart.  
Silence was the dominator of this strange and deserted place, just one little noise could startle something or someone. She nodded as her brother signed her to look out for anything strange or for some more equipment. In a place like this no one would guess to find a chest with something useful in it. However, it won't help them if they do not search for anything, there might always be the chance of finding appreciate values.

After she turned halfway away from her brother, she spotted something deep between the ruins of an old church. Aware of any bad signs she gripped her bow and slowly walked to the church. There could be something that could lure her into a trap and Dream could never forgive her if she is hurt again because she didn't pay close attention.  
Slowly she stepped over burst wooden truss and shattered glass. The big dark brown doors of the church hung loosely on the wall, ready to break down any minute. With her gloved hands she touched the old brick and closed her eyes hoping to hear any sound, but it was so quiet, which was clearly strange.  
Inside of the church she noticed a coloured window with pictures on it. This window was the only one reserved, the only one which didn't took damage after all those years.  
Light gleamed through the glass, colours were painted on the stone floor and behind her. It was beautiful. Rarely she would witness something so peaceful and pretty like this window.  
Full of curiosity she mustered the mystical figure in white and green. What was it holding? What animal was so sacred to be in this picture?

" So you found it too."

She turned around, breath hitched, staring at her brother surprised. He know this place? Why didn't he tell her this place was familiar to him?  
Before she could asked him what he actually mean with that, he shook his head and sighed. With a fast movement he unclasped the mask and instructed her to do the same.  
" Now you can see it better."

"WOW", she gasped, the silhouette of the person in the glass was far more clear and she recognised the animal in the background. It was a white phantom with purple stripes and ender-coloured eyes. It was more looking like a mix of a ghast, phantom and enderman. Does this creature really exist?  
" Is this a hybrid?"

"No, it's just an imagination of something pure and bright. It's sometimes called as an illusion or a will-o'-wisp. Sometimes they're a blessing if you stumbled upon them at peaceful unknown places, like ruins. But they often lead you to the deepest places where you never have been before and you get lost.  
Every time I come here, I pray."

"For what?"

"You choose for what you think it's the best to pray for. Just pray when you are here, sometimes I pray for safety, sometimes just for a little break. Remember Drista, that we are not depended on them, because they cannot help us in the darkest moments."

Drista fold her hands and closed her eyes, breathing slowly, taking every minute to think of a wish or a thought of hope. Carefully she sang an old lullaby with their old native language while thanking whoever it is, that she can live with her brother happily and alive.  
The place felt more and more safe, her mind was satisfied with the new information about the interesting creature. She opened her eyes, a feeling of glee washed over her, it was a long time ago she ever felt in that way.  
Looking back, she knows the harsh reality she and her brother was born into, but every time she's getting stronger the feeling of being afraid is going away, but not fully.  
Looking back, she realized how lucky she really is having a brother like that, whose protective and an smartass (sorry). She learned that there were other children like her who lost their whole family and rotting somewhere alone. People just treated them like the last trash, like animals in cages without any freedom. 

How lucky you really are.

It became darker around them, the sun was nearly hidden away in the trees.  
Outside again, she opened her mouth, fascinated to see little fireflies flying through the leaves and grass. Like little lanterns they glow up from time to time and then they vanished again in the grass. Chirped melodies were transferred in the romantic ways to the other insects. A dance about live and death.  
She never witnessed something like that in her entire life.  
And she laughed full of joy, smiling eyes looked at her brother who looked back into her glowing eyes. With the fireflies she danced over the ruins, she seemed so euphoric and her steps were so lightly like a fairy trusting this place as her home. 

But the sorrow inside him teared his heart, a sacrifice should be made. A sacrifice no one, not even he himself, can deny that it exist. An ultimatum.  
Tears of guilt, not telling her this, found their way out of his eyes. They streamed down his face nonstop. The mask now on his face hide his pain of seeing his sister for the last time. 

" This is so fun, look Dream!"

He watched her taking of her cape swirling around with the fireflies. He watched her slowly fading away. He watched her being stripped away from him.  
She was merely just a glowing silhouette in the dark, her smile brightened his mood a little bit. He sat down his mask in his hands, tears staining the clay present, the only thing that she left him. It made him happy that she faded way with a joyful feeling.  
He remained there silently, weeping of his sacrificed sibling, it broke a dam in him. He couldn't stop himself from falling apart again. He will never know why this sacrifice must to be made.  
It was mystery. That was so dreadful, he was not ready to let her go. He extended his arm to the place where he saw her the last time, but he was too late, she already slipped out of his grasp.

Unbeknownst to him, Drista had a feeling about to jinx her pray with something she cannot regret, but being the sacrifice herself was too much. Hiding her negative emotions deep in her heart, she carried on with her joy. She didn't know that Dream knows about it too.  
She was happy that it was not her brother who got sacrificed, but herself. It was upsetting. But none of them could change her fate. 

And both of them learned that night, how wonderful it is to exist in a world and to go on living even with being helpless. How strange it must have felt being let alone in a world.  
How grieving it is to lose their loved ones only to continue his life without them. Both of them know that they would never forget who they lost, who they cherish.

They know that there is no way out of the suffering, except the fact of moving on and to cope with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could i forgot her? 
> 
> who agrees with me on Drista supremancy?


	3. Moving on...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some events were listed down...( still memories)
> 
> the introduction of the dream team<  
> the wars />  
> pov-changes

" ooh Dream. Come out.", screamed a brunette with googles on his head holding a diamond sword. A sinister smile crawled up his face. " We know that you're here."  
Snickers could be heard in the back of the man leading him to join them, it got louder when one of them pulled out a compass in which the needle was spinning crazy, then stopped and pointed directly to the hidden one. Two of them pulled out their shields and weapons ready to attack the one in the shadows of the cave. Quickly they run to the spot where they thought he would hide, but to their surprise he wasn't there anymore. Then they heard an eating noise over them, they realized that he already run off.  
  
That was tense, luckily he reacted fast enough to run away. Back in the outside world again, Dream started to search for any goods and of course for lava to build a portal right to the nether. Passing a village he got more items, but it reduced a little bit from his time that he could see the hunters far in the landscape catching up him quickly. As he spotted a lava spot, he rapidly built the portal and jumped in.  
  
This time he was not hunted down with his life on a line, this time is was more kind of a play, which he called the Manhunt. Where some of his friends, he made a year ago, trying to hunt him down while he tries to survive and beat the Ender dragon.  
They played this game in different worlds. Although he was always the one running away from them, he sometimes got his opportunity to drive them crazy by attacking them when they are in vulnerable positions. He loved it hearing them screaming especially if the one was George, because he was the loudest and easiest to get. One reason why the screams was music to his ears was, that he never felt pleased when he was running away from various things.

After half an hour of searching for the fortress to get the blazers, he managed to knock one of the hunters of who tried to lure him into the lava, to his fortune the hunter himself caught on fire.  
With a final blow with his bow he yelled “ Eat that!” and a message appeared on the communicator which everyone has.

Sapnap was shot by Dream while escaping the warmth of the lava.

Sapnap, the raven haired one was the first person Dream met after the incident. He was a maniac concerning hot and burning things. He was the master of being an arsonist, often a place lit up in flames and he was the reason. Luckily his death was not permanent in this world, he could respawn again. Sapnap was also the one who introduced him to the other two who are hunting him down now.  
George and Bad.  
Both of them were interesting people, a puzzle ready to solve, not really but any ways Bad was an hybrid of a demon. Surely one would think that he would have the same traits as one, but he is like the complete opposite. You expect him to swear a lot, but Bad, no, Bad would never do that. He would always correct them when they do that. If they went too far he could kill them with an amount of speed, you wouldn't remember when he attacked you.

George was just a simple human being, nothing was wrong with him,... ( you can think of something)  
He was a normal, except the fact that he was colour blind, that means he cannot see the colours green and red in perfect ways, what does that mean?  
Forget it.  
But sometimes he had the tendencies to flirt with him, which he did the same to overtop it, but it was more in a playful way, often the other one splutters out of embarrassment, a sign that he was successful.

Out of the world they use for those kinds of hunts, they travel around and search for more materials to build weapons or to make potions. After a few weeks they found themselves on a plateau where a river was streaming through a grass field, a few trees were standing around, far in the back there was a forest and at that place the four friends started to stay there, to live.  
For everyone except Dream it was a sort of a break not to travel around and exploring new terrains.  
Together they build a nicely cottage, sometimes Bad came to visit, he did not live with them, he lived a little bit far off with a friend he known before.  
It was nice, but being on the run years ago was a little bit weird, you expect to be hunted down at any minute even if you want to live like a normal person, to have the opportunity to stay at one place for a long time.  
So he often took his stuffs and wandered off to explore or just to have the feeling of the nostalgic flair he always felt. Being outside means to be free, why?

When you always stay at a place for a long time, you somehow will be bound to it, it's hard for you to leave it or you have the urge to come back and your habit of persisting there is increasing. You are tied to your home, you feel sadness if your home is destroyed, you want revenge the ones who destroyed it. You break down. You are tended to build a new one.  
People call you the confined indoors, of course you go outside, of course you are not always in the house or cottage but you always come back to it. And this is a little weakness, anyone would take advantage of.

As a traveller, you does not have these kind of connection to a place, you're rather a nomadic always switching places since the herds needs food to eat, and when the grass is all eaten up they go to other spots to live.  
You have the freedom to go somewhere, surely you would dream about a warm place to stay and to live but in a time it can get boring.

Often when he travels, he would meet new faces. Other humans or hybrids. If they're kind or friendly he would invite them to their home. On other days, other people would come and settle down. In between a few months and a year, there was a little town full of extraordinary creatures, a lot of half-hybrids who lived in peace with the normal human beings. From time to time they had fights, little ones but most of the time the town got a friendly atmosphere, and with that the so called Dream SMP was created.  
He wonders why they chose his name, because he helped building a few things?  
Or because the name was just easier to take than the others who got neat names, whatever the reason was, he didn't know and he didn't care.

And with that a long period of difficulties began.

When you live within a town where no rules were set, no government exist, where you live like being in a small village, monotone, the residents would get bored over a time as a result and they would start the craziest things. It was not that weird, but it started off.  
A few of the newcomers started to sell a sort of drugs in a van, illegally brewing a few potions along. It was just for fun. Just fun.  
One day, the members started to wore uniforms, blue coloured.  
They started to make a flag for some purposes, Dream and the others who are not part of their group would ignore it, however after a period, they would wonder what they are trying to do.  
The results were not welcomed. Answers would be seemed out of place, questions never to be replied. Confusion would grow among them, hitting a point of anger. Why did they want to do that?

A revolution against what?

They started to live in their made up new country, called L'manburg. Living apart from their friends who did not join their group or who are not interested in their opinions, those who want to live on their own, but not in a separate way.  
Sides must to be chosen. Sides. The one indicator to lead a fight, to lead the demonstration of loyalty and trust.  
Hard choices must to be made, hard decisions to be clearly thought of.  
Within these conflicts of finding yourself lost, within these conflicts other problems started to rise. A fight transforms to a war. A battle to be fought and ended. In those fights against both sides are children living, believing in their own words of safety, with that they would find themselves in positions they never imagined to be. Children, too young to fight and be soldiers or warriors to battle for their freedom of their so called country. Children, who believed that this would not cause any damage, not in the present time, not in the future. Teenagers, who believed in the possibilities of winning, those who didn't cared at first how important your live actually is. Children, who were not taught to fight properly or who are not taught to surrender when you are weaker.

All of it started at a point.  
They could've prevented it. Nobody did the first step and with that the peace of the SMP ended for a long time.  
The revolution, a duel, the disc war, the pet war, where Sapnap slaughtered all the innocent animals of the people, a potato war…  
Then there was Jschlatt, becoming the new president of now called Manburg. Again people got separated after they thought they won the war and everything would be perfectly fine, which did not happened.  
As the new emperor, Schlatt took the citizenships of Tommy and Willbur, leading them to leave the town, they once build. And after all this, sides where a touchy topic, ok it was always difficult. It actually started in a control room leading the downfall of the revolution, where one man betrayed his side while saying "Down with the revolution. It was never meant to be."

At that point, traitors found their way into the normal living ways. Some got cruel deaths…  
Some still got the chance of moving forward, but most of them died, leading the others open minded. Trust they broke, trust they must repair.  
Young people got involved, losing their lives as being revealed, being public executed. They would never thought of those ways, they never planned this. Every day becomes more and more exhausting as they must learn to adapt of the new style of living. Your family is never full, things were bound to go wrong.  
A festival leads to death of innocent people, to joining new sides, to asking yourself of what you're doing wrong that you cannot trust your own persona. Wilbur was steadily losing his sanity, and no one could stop him, asking him if he was fine. After his loss of L'manburg, he got desperate and sad. " My unfinished symphony."  
The emotions and feelings got too strong and they would eat you from the inside as a parasite living in your sick body. You clearly don't know what you're doing. Being with the enemy, being a vessel, being not controlled of your sane mind.

Then there was the war Pogtobia against Manburg, a war where newcomers provided for better equipment to make the revolution successfully.  
A war. Again. More traitors looming around, at both sides, you don't know if you're really that loyal to your group. A war bringing the outsiders a benefit even though they're not partially fighting.  
Just feeling perfect for the conflict is going nonstop. Who cares actually to choose which side you're on, no one cares.  
This battle, however, was different from the others, of course Pogtobia won, but all in all it let to complete chaos, a complete destruction.

Winning the war so easily was strange, your only enemy just died in front of everyone by a heart attack he caused it himself from drinking too much alcohol. Why did nobody realized at which part of the whole battle everything they prepared gone to pieces.  
Those, who didn't live in the world where not everything was full of happiness and rainbow, can use one moment to switch the perspective completely in a way that no one would know where the bottom or the upper part of the world is. Heaven and Hell were swapped in one slow motion.  
One man just fought among them with the opinion that government caused all of those problems, his own partners not showing care of what he was fighting for. Blinded by their victory, they didn't saw his distressed and angry face. A revolution against a government just to put that part again in the system was not planned. In that moment he realized that they betrayed him in a different way as a traitor from the other side.  
They betrayed the person he was himself, they used him because he was one of the strongest there. As the voices, he always heard them in his head, started to list up every possible point of how they hurt him, anger swelled up in his chest, his pride was hurt, damaged and the voices claimed that they must pay for everything. 

Celebrating their victory, no one noticed that one man was sneaking away from them, one of them who is going to fulfil his wish of the possession he could never gain back then. His mind would never recover from it. With a torch in his hand our man walks to a room full of TNT, on the walls names or words were carved in, some looking as if the ones ,who had make these marks, felt pain. A button was fixed on the wall, a button leading to something deadly and destructive.  
Too late, too late they took notice of the missing person, confusion and worry hung above their heads, nervousness started to increase.  
Most of them would think of what the hell is going to happen. Once the cheers changed to screams and yelling and silence.

In the room, our man, Wilbur started to break down with tiny steps going forward to press the button, the insanity taking over his body, controlling to push it. Luckily a man appeared behind him surprising him. The tone of the person was rather cold and displeased, but also worried.

" What are you doing?"

The only one who had that familiar voice was his father, startling him out of his unconsciousness mind, bringing the old vulnerable Willbur back, the insanity hid themselves in the back of the head. Not ready to show the full amount of emotion which flow through his body. He was still not in control of those overwhelming emotions he felt all those years.  
With difficulties he explained his father what the room should meant to be, why he was there, what his mind told him to do, after he couldn't manage to actually try to press it, he was always so close to finish it. Disbelieved of his son's lies, the man, known as Philza, took his boy into a hug to comfort him. He tries with all he could to stop his mentally damaged son from the open possibilities to push the button, just to make the insanity pleased. He only wanted to help, but fate was cruel as always.  
It's unhealthy to bury your emotions. If you do it, all of it becomes a burden you can't survive, even when you think you're strong enough.  
There were a lot of signs in the past showing the persons road leading towards villainy.  
They might look from the outward appearance fine, but you never know what sort of storm is brewing inside.  
What does strong really means in this context?  
What can fix them now?  
Is it too late? 

They hugged for a while, too long for the insanity, that crawled back to the hurt man, son…child?  
Who died long time ago…now he is someone else. A man who leads himself to his own downfall, a desire becoming a possession. A sane man transformed to a mad one. Hurting his friends and family around him, leaving his own child alone, ruining the moments of redemption he could have or get in the future but not really as himself. Riled up, he yanked himself out of the warm hug he once loved, a tear streamed down his face as he repeated the words of the one traitor of L'manburg as he pressed the button.

"It was never meant to be."

This led to the destruction of his once beloved country. He blowed it all down, only to lead himself to lose control over his mind, to let all of his hidden emotions to wash over him.  
A crazed smile was shown in his face, he extended his arms out showing a ruin of the place they once rebuilt it after the war. The tears never stopped their tracks. A gust of wind swept over the damaged place taking the last particles of the ash and carbon black. Dust particles were swirling chaotic in the air, the screams of the bystanders outside were louder as before, the yells full of disbelieve, frustration and sadness filling the scene.  
The father told his son of what he is seeing, seemingly shocked he spoke, " Wil.", he huffed clearly observing the whole turned up situation, " It's all gone."  
The man does not answer, he was sitting in the collapsed remains of the room, progressing himself what he had done. What he achieved with it. He finally let his emotions control him, let to do him unimaginable things. No one could go back in time to change this, he was calm for once, debating on what he's going to do.  
He took a deep breath and said with full of fake or wronged optimism, " MY L'MANBURG, PHIL. MY UNFINISHED SYMPHONY. FOREVER UNFINISHED."  
His hands were now outstretched towards the sky, showing the creation of his madness.  
Turning back to his father, crying, he moved forward, telling Phil to kill him, maybe he wants it's all to stop, maybe because the feelings were just too much to handle. 

And the only way out of the insanity is death.  
He would take the death as a final gate out of the suffering he found himself lost, as a young child would find themselves lost in a forest or in a big crowd. He might be free, but his father would be the one finding himself lost in the world of grief, guilt and sadness. No father would kill their son, but not every father could stand the begging of the child, the desperate look in his eyes.  
He couldn't do it.  
He was not a good father, and a promise he never made was broken. What it was? I won't tell you.

Silence crept over the place, his dying child in his arms, hugging him, tears streaming down. Where did it go wrong?

What caused him to go insane?  
What caused his child to lose their hope?

The wars?  
Was he with the wrong people?  
Was it this place? This shithole?

Who lead him to kill his own blood and flesh?

He let out a scream full of guilt and pain, sadness inflicting his body, he shutters as he felt the coldness touching his skin. His shoulders were hunched over, his head buried in the body of his now dead boy. Sobs leading their way out of his mouth, his wings curled around him as a wall against the world outside who just cared for a victorious success, but not minding the father with his loss of his boy.

Voices were demanding for revenge, whether it was the father who heard it or the man who got betrayed by his pals.

And with it the downfall was coming.

And where was Dream all the time, what does this have something to do with him?  
Of course, he witnessed a lot of wars, death of people of his comrades. Mostly, he was watching all the time every movement which was made by everyone below him as he sat on a roof. Inspecting everything that happens, he came to the conclusion that nothing was going to be better, there was not a change. After wars there were more wars, one betrayel came after one.  
After his nature, he is rather neutral, but this didn't help at all. Those who are not chosing sides were called as sinners, there is no grey area, there is just black and white.  
He joined Technoblade, a rival same as a comrade. Even he himself betrayed his intentions, peace was never an option, huh?  
What brought us to help the enemy to give the supplies?  
Maybe, he is starting to forget something important.  
What did he forgot?

The wars changed him, he was no longer his past self, he forgot who he actually was in the past. Clearly he knew he was traveling a lot, but why?  
He was not cold, just silent.  
Dream was starting to become a stranger to himself, a stranger to his friends. 

A stanger to everyone.

______________

He stood in a forest, alone, where was he?  
Suddenly a white creature appeared in his sight, plopping out of a tree, it hold interest in him. Not knowing where he was, he tried to talk to the creature asking if it knows something, but no voice came out of his mouth. What?  
Only if he looked back behind him he would noticed the oddity of the place. Behind him was nothing, just the void coming closer to him. The creature suddenly ran off somewhere, not to be left alone he followed it, running fast to catch it up. In that time he didn't sensed the change of the world around him.  
The creature was gone, the world was empty, he stood in a white world, nothing was around. 

Where am I ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus christ, the chapter is longer than expected :P
> 
> sorry, i forgot to add something.   
> ;w;
> 
> I gave a few hints...to answer some questions...
> 
> what is the purpose of the creature?  
> What does the emotions have with the plot?
> 
> too much spoiler?
> 
> no.

**Author's Note:**

> what do you think?
> 
> sorry, the next chapter will take long because I'll have other stuff to do, but i'll try my best to update soon. 
> 
> UwU


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